Navaratri and the goddess extraordenaire

" Oh my god I have legs and feet" I proclaimed as I tightly gripped the foam block between my thighs, while teaching about the power of the pelvic floor in Tadasana in class. I had been putting that block between my legs for about 8 years as part of the starting days of learning Tadasana in the Teachers Training, but had never really felt its effect. No wonder this exercise goes down so well, its incredible how much energy surges through the legs and feet when you really focus on them. Of course I had felt this before, but the brain has a way of going on automatic and forgetting what things feel like when you first did them. It makes an assumption based on past experiences and then projects that into the future as reality. In yoga this notion of past reflection and future projection is called the wheel of Dharma. When we live in a reality based in what we know and remember we are caught like a hamster on a wheel. but if we can learn to embrace each moment as a complete adventure then we can get off the wheel and play in the dance of our own making.

Last week I decided to dance. Not dance in the literal sense, but rather as a way to find out more about myself as a woman and how to be more true to myself. I used the beautiful Navaratri ritual as my framework and discovered many wonderful and new things about myself and the women I share my world with.
Navaratri is a celebration of the Goddess in the form of Durga. It marks the occasion of her defeat of the great Buffalo demon and as such represents the triumph of good over evil. Durga is also the great mother and can also be worshiped as Kali, Lakshmi and Saraswati to name a few. Navaratri is celebrated over 10 days and 9 nights and usually starts around the new moon in September/October.

For me this celebration was especially significant as I had just recently done an amazing workshop called " The path of love" which had helped me to release a great deal of shock around my mothers early death and also enabled me to establish strong boundaries around myself. I had been using Durga as my personalized deity ( Ishta devata) since completing the workshop, so was excited to honor her during my own Navaratri celebration. But I didn't actually know it was Navaratri until I began my practice on the new moon. I had my period that day and had welcomed it with a short practice which included offerings of flowers, some simple mantras and more relaxed asanas, but something in me went a bit overboard and I found myself doing things I would only do if I was in a more ritualistic frame of mind. I had a sense that something was up and so mid practice Google'd " Hindu holidays" and there it was first on the list, Navaratri starts today. I had to chuckle to myself about woman's intuition and came up with an idea for a nine day ritual at that exact moment. Each day I would pick flowers for the goddess and then place a photo on the altar adorned with prayers and mantras. It sounds simple in its inception but ultimately it led me to discover some simple yet profound truths about myself.

The first day I welcomed Durga in the form of the great goddess, I honored her blood, her sex, her beauty and her wild tigress. I danced and howled and sat with the image of a red flower in my heart. I felt her slicing away the demons that had kept me from loving myself. I also saw her as the great mother conquering all the pain of the world. Durga was a solo woman and had all the power of the shining ones within her. It is said that what enabled her to slay her opponent was, not the piercing blade of her sword, but the shakti in her foot. Apparently as she touched the demon with her foot he was so overwhelmed by her shakti that he dropped his guard and was defeated.

During Navaratri Durga is worshiped for the first 3 days. On the 2nd day I went for a morning walk and discovered that all the new leaves on the trees are red before they turn green. Everywhere I looked I saw Mother nature in her red garments. My altar that day was splashed with every red flower imaginable and my words and prayers were " I know why the goddess is dressed in red! the flush of new leaves, the red of her blood, the red of her sunset skies and rose red dawns, the color of her tongue, the rush of her soft red heart, the red of her earth"
On the 3rd day I saw myself as Durga the protector and felt the power of pure consciousness within me. I held my hands in front of me in the Mudra of protection and allowed myself to imagine an infinite sky with infinite possibilities. She was the seed planted in the soil and there was nothing to do but to grow towards the sunlight.


And the sun goddess that met her was Lakshmi in brilliant yellows and golds. Everywhere I walked that next morning I saw sunshine. Trees had especially littered the ground with yellow blossoms just for the occasion. It felt perfect to change the altar around and place a huge silver picture of Lakshmi in the center. While the stock market was in turmoil I was seeing the world showered with more abundance and beauty then ever before. As Lakshmi I offered my prayers as the devoted mother and wife. As the one who sits on the lotus and knows exactly how to burn her internal fires, when to act and when to wait. I prayed for her lotus perfume to heal and pacify the world.
On the second day I honored Lakshmi as the goddess who rains showers of flowers on all the creatures, people, plants and animals of the earth. She was radiant and full of love for family and friends and on her final day I welcomed her as Kamala, the goddess of desire. As Kamala she is that which unfolds things as they are meant to be. Desire is really just the longing we have inside of us to return home. Kamala is also the lotus which knows its muddy origins and enjoys the journey towards the light.
Every day my altar was becoming more and more full, but I have to admit that the focus and work required to really embody the goddess every morning began to take its toll on me physically, mentally and emotionally. I began to feel deep emotions surfacing, as if I'd stirred up an old dead volcano. I was conjuring the goddess alright and she decided to burn up all the things I was still attached to. Instead of feeling vibrant and radiant like Lakshmi I was glued to my bed with all over body aches. I felt like I had gone swimming for too long and was wringing out towels of tears. But Saraswati was calling me with her pure white feathers, her melodious tones and wise wise words, so I braved a short walk up the street for some white flowers and made this my prayer" Jai Saraswati Ma, the beautiful creature artist, who shines her light of inspiration through her flowing vibrations of song, dance and speech, art and wisdom. May your words be on my lips and may I hear you as my teacher within. may your love be my faith to conquer my fears".

That day Saraswati's wisdom reminded me that I had worked for 8 sold months teaching and sharing Yoga and my body needed a rest. Saraswati told me to have massages, adjustments, acupuncture and therapy sessions and to take herbs. I spent all of Saraswati's 3 days deep in self study trying to listen to what my body heart and mind needed and it worked. I stopped moving and rested. I think as women we are just great at giving and listening to others. We know when we are needed and we love to open our hearts, but we often neglect the one who needs us most,and sometimes we don't even know what we need anymore.

To close my celebrations 12 women joined me in my altar room on the last night of Navaratri. It was an amazing feeling when we all sat down and even more amazing when the women shared what they felt represented them in their power. They claimed their lineage, their hearts, their commitment to truth, their power as mother and healer, their softness, their fairy nature, their ability to manifest and the opportunity to live in the now. Then all these qualities were placed as symbols in the center of the circle and adorned with red, gold and white flowers. We chanted a Mantra to honor the goddess in all her forms and then practiced a sequence of Mudras ( hand gestures) to set a strong intention for ourselves. Then we sat around and ate dessert and caught up with each other, which was great fun.

I purposefully left the altar and the room in a tumbled mess that night so I could come in in the morning and slowly sweep away the world we had created. It was time to move on from the last ten days of celebration, revelation and ritual. Time to take the wisdom of the goddesses and live it in life. Its been a few days and already Navaratri has sunk into the well worn grooves of my instinctual brain and who knows where I will be at and what I will be needing to experience the next time this celebration comes around, but I know now, that the goddess is in me and every women and have nothing but gratitude and awe for all that she inspires.